If what they say is “nothing is forever”
Then what makes, then what makes, then what makes love the exception?
Do you think of your past relationships as short stories, rather than novels?
Do they have stable, lasting middles, or just beginnings and endings?
Do you have trouble remembering all your exes, and sometimes suspect they have weekly support groups to help each other figure out just what happened and how it all went wrong? If so, do you imagine these meetings taking place in large rooms, with several participants joining via videoconference?
If all of the above is true, you might be a Relationship Serial Killer. You string attachments one after the other, never letting them get too serious or last for too long. You might be complaining that it was their fault, not yours, but… you do know the only thing that all your relationships have in common, right?
Of course, you might be a loud and proud RSK, never having a moment of self-doubt about all the relationships you ended, and actually regretting not having pulled the trigger earlier on most of them. If you’re a world-class RSK, you might actually have compiled a list of exit strategies for when relationships seem to drag for too long, from which you choose, each time, the most appropriate one, in order to minimize (or, sometimes, maximize) the emotional damage from the break-up. For them, of course – meanwhile, you’re happily skipping away with the next object of your affection. If this is your case, then skip this article and give me a call so we can go have emotionally detached sex – though I must warn you that I get extremely depressed when post-coital. Also, pre-coital. And also sometimes coital, but the pain actually helps me last longer, so you might consider that a plus. What I’m saying is will someone please make it all end, I can’t take it anymore.
Back to the point: however, if you suspect you might be a RSK, but find yourself repeating “there were problems from the beginning, it had to end when it did” when what actually happens is that (i) waking up more than ten times next to the same person makes you feel like kicking down the nearest emergency exit and running outside in your underwear, and (ii) emotional closeness on your side makes you feel vulnerable and tied down and claustrophobic and emotional closeness on the other person’s side instantly makes you vaguely but overwhelmingly icky, and (iii) you find yourself occasionally wondering what-if and conclude it might not have been as bad as it seemed then… take a glance at what follows.